A Newsletter on Marketing (and Life) #013

Why we lie to ourselves (cognitive dissonance)

Author

Jordan Ogren
September 15, 2023

Resonance.

I chose to focus on that in marketing (and life).

Rather than reach, I look to create meaningful experiences that resonate with a particular segment of humans. Rather than over-index on competitors, I aim to develop resonance with my ideal customer.

I walk the talk.

This newsletter and the daily email I did for 1.5 years are examples of this. I only have 33 subscribers. I reached 63 with the daily email. Yet I still show up, and positive outcomes have come.

I've been asked to speak to a cohort of startups.

I've honed my writing ability to convey ideas efficiently.

And I've deepened my relationship with many of you who read.

I'm most grateful for that last one.

You make this worth writing each week. You make it safe to share my ideas. I'm thankful you (of the 33) are here with me on this life journey.

All that to say, reach out! Let me know how things are or who you are if we've never met (maybe today is the day 😉).

Enjoy this week's musings:

Marketing 💡: Learn the principles (basics)

(Time to read: 1:03 minutes)

Which do you focus on:

Methods or principles?

For most of my life, I sought methods. I wanted to know what to do and how I could get results quickly. That was until I tried many different methods and achieved minimal results.

At this point, I should have realized that methods are useless.

Instead, I doubled down and searched for the ultimate method. Which I never found, but I did find something better on that journey.

I found the one thing more important than the method: The underpinning principle.

Sure, methods are the avenues for improvement. But a method applied without a proper understanding of the method's operating principles is ineffective.

It's like using a hammer as a paddle. Sure, you're moving. But you're not going anywhere fast.

When you first approach the principles and learn them, you can then pick the correct method for the problem or opportunity you face.

Use this premise for everything in your life.

Want to learn how to play the guitar? Learn the principles of music theory and guitar structure.

Want to improve your basketball skills? Learn the principles that have lasted the test of time (e.g., how to shoot, dribble, and play defense).

Want to get better at marketing? Subscribe to my daily email; I mean, learn the principles of marketing and improve HOW you think about marketing.

It's easier to learn and apply methods than it is to understand the principles.

Maybe that's why few marketers think and act independently.

And rest are fascinated with the methods and trends.

Which do you focus more on?

Originally sent on June 13, 2022

Three Books. Three Quotes

"Upstream work is about reducing the probability that problems will happen, and for that reason, the work must culminate in system’s change. A well-designed system is the best upstream intervention.”

"Is it really possible that a perception so vivid, basic, existential – my perception of the passage of time – depends on the fact that I cannot apprehend the world in all of its minute detail?”

"…for he who knows himself well knows all his vices and faults, and so the praises of men bring no joy.”

Heard. Saw. Experienced.

Heard:

Pain. It's everywhere. I hear it so much. From far away and, sadly, from close to home. That's life. This happens many times to me with friends or strangers. I believe it's vital to be there (present), hold the liminal space, and help that person make progress in whatever way is needed.

The funny thing is that how we help them make progress is typically counter-intuitive. It surprises me every time. It's usually listening, validating, and finding a pathway forward if they are ready. How do you help others transform their pain instead of transmitting it?

Saw:

Women are the real deal. I've been a mama's boy since day one, so I've always known. But I've been immersed in women's insights, topics, and concepts with my job and work through it. I work for a women-owned business and, through that, help with the marketing for an Institute for Women's Leadership. Women are the future. They want it and will get it (let me move out of the way).

Yesterday, I attended an event called Stories From Experience, where my CEO interviewed a (woman) community leader with experiences to share. Sabina was the guest, and she applied her experiences from her medical career to women's leadership and entrepreneurship. My main insight was saying "yes" to the right things. I need to work on that.

Experienced:

Conversations of depth are what I live for. I had a few since the last time I wrote you, and my spirit is flourishing. I love what I can learn from others when we go to the depths (vs. stay on the surface). Life has been grateful to bring amazing friends into my life whom I can speak with regularly and who also bring life to me (Steven, Daniel, Molly, Josh, Mark + more). Thank you for making me better.

Snippet of what I’m writing (with links)

I lie to myself a lot.

They are not fully lies, but they’re stories that are not true.

And the reason I tell myself these stories is that I can’t handle the truth. I think I want the truth, but I don’t. An example is how I say I’m peaceful, yet I can be rude (verbally) to people (sorry Kate…).

Rather than hold the truth (a contradiction), I tell myself a story of how work can stress me out, and everyone gets angry now and then. This helps ease the tension created by the contradiction of my actions and what I believe. They call this cognitive dissonance, the anxiety or stress we feel when we hold two opposing truths.

Contradictions are inherently good. It’s healthy to learn how to hold opposing truths. Here, I’ll go first share one for people experiencing homelessness:

Our system (life) has taken advantage of them so much that they’re stuck. They could learn critical skills and improve to get a job and advance in society, but they don’t.

Both are true because they’re cause and effect. But it’s a contradiction. Yet I find joy and progress in holding them and leaning into the confusion and mystery.

Before I go further, we have to nerd out where the word contradiction comes from. You can use the word in many ways (as I recklessly did before), and I think it’ll help to reflect on it.

New:

Works in progress:

I appreciate you for making this this far. Thank you for reading!

I hope to see you next week. Have a splendid Friday and weekend!

– Jo (every second counts)