A Newsletter on Marketing (and Life) #015

A few tips to get unstuck when writing.

Author

Jordan Ogren
September 29, 2023

I got one of the best compliments this week.

A client at work called me out at the end of a project as she was impressed with my writing and the strategy behind social content.

It was helpful as it's easy to feel small at times. And we all need those people who can be a mirror of the incredible {insert} we are. Helpful reminders.

And then, I've had some personal struggles that have nearly provoked some anxiety attacks, primarily due to my actions. I also have a few friends dealing with challenges that weigh on me.

That's life. Ups and downs. Life can be amazing (as it is for me) and also challenging and sucky. Contradictions, two opposing truths, I call it life.

I hope you've had more good moments than bad this past week. Enjoy this week's letter:

Writing šŸ’”: ON being stuck

(Time to read: 1:45 minutes)

Two nights in a row of not being able to write.

Staring at this scene with no idea what to say.

All day, I have ideas and share insightful nuggets (hopefully), and then when it's time to write, I can't do it. Why is that?

Is it because I write 8-4 daily?
Is it because I'm tired as a dog?
Is it because I lost my touch? *not suggesting I ever had one.

It's none of that.

It's simpler than that, yet also more complex to digest. It's an invisible force impeding me from downloading my thoughts as quickly as possible. I'm stuck.

Some call it resistance or blocking. Either way, it's an artificial but real force that impedes us on our journey to write (express).

But here I am. Which is tip #1: Write through it.

Figure out a way to write and make progress on whatever you're working on, even if it's a silly essay like this or something important like your book. Eventually, you write enough shit that you get to something digestible. I recommend 45 minutes, as the first 10-15 will be deleted later.

Tip #2 (and a cause for getting stuck if not done) is ensuring your well is filled (see essay on filling your well).

Most of us use too much of ourselves or do not have proper well-filling habits to replenish ourselves, resulting in nothing to give. I'm probably there right now (I've been burning the midnight oil). But when your well is filled, writing comes more naturally as you're in a space to be vulnerable.

I don't know about you, but if I haven't got much sleep and I'm hungry, I am unlikely to be creative and want to write. While those are basic needs, exercising and meditating are essential to go deeper within yourself while writing. And to have the patience to write.

Tip #3 (and the final one, thank God, who asked for tips?) is to write down an outline or key points of what you want to write to lower the friction to writing.

Sometimes, I will outline a more extensive guide I want to create and then know one small piece I can cover. Other times, I outline the article and fill in the blanks to later make it a cohesive piece. This tactic is my least used but comes in handy when struggling to get started.

A bonus tip (tricked ya!) builds off #1: Do 10-15 minutes of free writing every morning or before writing to help get unstuck. I learned about it from Julia Cameron's book The Artist's Way, and I've done this for over two years. It is Morning Pages, and they are incredibly effective at helping you remove the resistance and write. If that doesn't work, you're helpless.

Three Books. Three Quotes

"We donā€™t succeed by foreseeing the future accurately. We succeed by ensuring that weā€™ll have the feedback we need to navigate.ā€

"Each of us has something that we are good at ā€“ something we can give to others that makes them hopeful.ā€

ā€“ Admiral William H. McRaven (The Hero Code)

"The mind does not find peace, nor does it enjoy pleasure and joy, nor does it find sleep or fortitude when the thorn of hatred dwells in the heart.ā€

Heard. Saw. Experienced.

Heard:

Great teams are built differently than I assumed. I thought the teams with the best players and coach won. Or the one with the smartest people (high IQ). That's rarely the case.

In the podcast Hidden Brain, Shankar Vedantam interviews Psychologist Anita Woolley, who says the best teams are far more than the sum of their parts and share certain essential characteristics that help them win.

One takeaway was the importance of collective intelligence in propelling teams forward and how having more women on your team helps (if there is still gender diversity).

Here is the full podcast episode:

Saw:

Nature is gorgeous. It's also ruthless. Nature doesn't give two shits about your feelings or preferences. And that's what makes nature beautiful.

I felt this thoroughly as I watched a hawk(?) pick up a squirrel for breakfast. While I would typically cheer for fewer squirrels (they are useless, right?), this hit differently. I felt terrible for the hopeless squirrel. I wanted to intervene.

But in the end, the hawk needs to be fed, and it found it's unlucky meal. What do I make of this? Thank God I'm not a squirrel. I also realize how small most of my "headaches" are. Life is ugly, and that's okay.

Experienced:

I hate dressing up. But every time I do, I wonder why I don't do it more frequently. There is something about dressing to the nine and feeling damn good. Last weekend, Kate's cousin got married at the Alpine Valley Resort in Elkhorn, WI.

While the resort sucked, seeing Kate's family, running up the ski hill, and reflecting on love and marriage was terrific. My main takeaway was to focus on how to be a better husband to Kate daily. See my essay below for more on my feelings about weddings.

Personal essay snippet (with links)

Time to read: 1:49 minutes

I hate weddings.

Not for the usual reasons you'd assume.

Instead of an unhealthy affinity for the joy found in beginnings. The (naive) happiness a couple has before embarking on marriage. It's the moment they will look back on when times become dark, and you wonder why you ever began this journey.

Look at your wedding photos. Don't tell me it doesn't rekindle a fire within. While I love that fire, I am burned too quickly. Let me explain:

At its core, a wedding is a joining of two. Two people, two families, and two futures into one. This happens through a covenantā€“vows of loyalty and love. The depth of this covenant is significant.

Giving yourself to another human is a noble effort and requires reckless amounts of discipline and love. It's why divorces happen so frequently.

Poor decisions, lack of commitment, or things above my reasoning cause most covenants to fail. But when done right, it's one of the most beautiful things to observe and experience.

While I understand people's decisions for celibacy, I argue that marriage is one of the closest things we can get to heaven. Two humans operating as one. Just as you and God will in heaven.

I'm teary-eyed just writing this.

In theory, it's beautiful and pristine, just like the bride.

In practice, it's fucking gory. It's as if someone dumped a bucket of red Gatorade on her.

It's difficult to achieve, yet immensely rewarding. Joy, happiness, and peace are found in true love.

And that's why I hate weddings.

It reminds me of how small I am playing in my marriage. How I am missing this joy and peace I could receive if I returned to that complete for my wife. It's a wake-up call to be better.

It's so easy to get distracted by life rather than realize how the love I have for my wife could always be greater. The things I did before we were married, I can still do, just becauseā€¦

This could be related to my past and how I struggle with shame and negative self-talk. Or it could be that I have room to grow.

Regardless, I struggle to fully enjoy them as feelings of joy and insignificance twist me.

And that's okay. I am grateful for the reminderā€”to reflect on the covenant I've made with Kate and think of ways to grow in honoring that.

I'll always be flawed. But I can always strive to improve and rekindle the fire we have.

Let me leave you with one thought:

No one has ever loved "too much." You and I can grow in our capacity to love those around us selflessly. To make the world better through more love.

Will you try with me?

Works in progress:

Thanks for sharing a few minutes with me. I hope your Friday goes well and you have a wonderful weekend šŸ˜Š

Take care!

ā€“ Jo (every second counts)